Re-evaluation. That’s what I find myself in the middle of. I am such a goal setter, and I honestly just wish I had more time in a day. At the beginning of the year, as my social media followers know, I set a goal that I would do a project every month. In the moment of setting these kinds of goals, I can visualize it as a possibility. Even the things that could go wrong, I felt like I had factored in. Still, every time, I underestimate how quickly my time can fill, or how easily external factors can play a roll.
All that being said. I am still working on the projects I planned for this year. But they will not be done every month as originally planned. I am still working my way through this coloring book that I planned to do… But I never even find moments to take pictures and update my followers. I also still have projects for clients I am working on filling, and then I have been working on my clothing brand, The PNW Dream as well.
Still, every time, I underestimate how quickly my time can fill, or how easily external factors can play a roll.
A Hidden Issue
If I were to be quite candid, on top of all that, I have also been dealing with some medical issues that have made it really difficult for me to focus outside of my immediate priorities in my life (my kids) and leaves me emotionally drained at the end of each day.
One of the most difficult parts of this whole process is that the doctors don’t know what is wrong with me and the things that need to be done in order to figure that out cannot be scheduled for a long time. In the meantime, I try to get through my days the best I can. Needless to say, there have been a lot of tears… but also a lot of pressing on.
The frustration that arises in a situation like this is incredible. Especially because in my mind, the timing couldn’t be worse. January came and I was so fired up for the year. So ready to take on new things, to grow myself, and grow my business. It felt like some unseen force just came and punched me in the gut, completely knocking the wind out of me.
If you’ve ever had the wind knocked out of you, it is not a fun feeling. Twice in my life, I’ve experienced the shocking sensation of being breathless due to a significant force of impact. Those following moments of gasping for breath are uncomfortable to say the least.
At the moment, that is what every day feels like.
But life isn’t set up to wait around for me to figure any of this out and I am not about to let an unknown medical issue take away from the things I started the year believing for. It might slow me down a little bit, but there’s nothing wrong with a little extra self-care. It might have forced me to re-evaluate my goals, but maybe that was already needed.
My personal world-views and life experiences have taught me to learn from everything. Good and bad, triumphs and mistakes all teach us so much. They teach us about ourselves, they teach us how to change, they help us grow. That’s how I look at this as well.
Already, I’m learning how to be my own advocate. I’m learning to fight for answers and to raise my voice to the doctors involved.
I’m learning how to quiet my own anxieties and find daily strength in the One I know provides endless supplies of it.
While being a very open person, this isn’t something I would normally share publicly, especially because I make it a goal not to dwell on negative things. I share my story with you now because if there is anyone out there who is going through something similar. I want you to feel seen and validated in the fact that you are not alone.
Also, being a person of faith, I pray that no matter the outcome of all of this, my God will tell His story through me. Especially of His incredible goodness and faithfulness.
What Sparked Me Sharing This
This was not even something I planned to share with you all tonight. It started with the fact that I’ve been planning to make some changes in my social media presence and that involved changing my Instagram handle. Which is hilariously a huge deal. I’ve been putting the whole process off for at least a month just because of the very fact that it is not an easy thing to do.
Tonight, I finally had the image I wanted to post ready and started writing out a tiny little blurb about the coming changes. I realized and was embarrassed by the fact that yet again, I had set a goal that I couldn’t stick to. The Spokane Alphabet Coloring Book was originally planned to finish at the end of January. Here we are, halfway through February and I haven’t even posted about it in weeks. Still working on it, but the goal wasn’t fully met.
As I tried to figure out how to address it without simply apologizing, I realized that in all honesty… I am a human. While I often ignore that fact and what it means for my capability; while I often ignore medical issues, no matter how intrusive they are to my ability to focus… it was a major factor in my lack of efficiency.
I am a human.
I simply cannot do it all. No matter how hard I try. And when something like a medical issue inserts itself into the situation… its just silly of me to not slow down and face the facts.
The Coming Changes
By now, you might be wondering about these social media changes. And if you are reading this blog, then you are one of the first people to experience my new blog page and you probably have some questions.
Those of you who have followed me for a long time know that I have been blogging since my high school years. Even last year, I started with trying to keep up with my blogs… but everything changed when I started The PNW Dream.
I was fine with blogging falling off because my art page and my blogging presence were difficult for me to figure out. Especially in terms of branding. If I remember right, I talked about it quite a lot at the beginning of last year.
I spent a lot of times looking at other artists, and came to the conclusion that I needed to have a very specific look in order to brand well and I didn’t feel like I could achieve that… and it frustrated me. I loved to do too much and didn’t feel like I could narrow it down. The PNW Dream was easier, because it was clear cut, it branded itself.
When 2018 ended and I was finally able to take some time to myself to re-evaluate my experience running The PNW Dream, I realized that I was still missing that platform for me, for my own life. I still had that urge to blog, and still wanted to share my art.
But I love the brand RogueRenPNW… and I know a lot of my followers love it too, and I didn’t want to give it up.
There are multiple people in my life who’ve told me from the beginning to simply brand off of my own name and use the platform to encompass the things that I do. I did not listen to them, and now I am at a point where I realize that its time to let go.
Recently, I did a questionnaire to my followers on The PNW Dream which included a question asking if they knew what my “art brand” was named. The responses I got were extremely varied and evidently confused. It was a confirmation that I needed a social media presence that would be much more clear. I mean what is RogueRenPNW? The name honestly has so much meaning to me, but no one else knows what it means.
As an artist, there is sentiment in everything, and artists just can’t help themselves when it comes to being so creative. I am no exception.
So, its time to let go. That doesn’t mean that RogueRenPNW doesn’t exist. It’s still the name of my portfolio. It’s still the copyright. It’s still my DBA (doing business as name) and how you will be invoiced if ever you use my services. However, it won’t be the social face any longer.
In the end, I am excited. I am excited to relieve some of the pressure to simply create art and post it, create art and post it… but instead, to be more relaxed and post more about the other topics I like to share about.
You can expect the topics to cover:
- Business/Social Media
This is especially great because I actually receive endless questions about my work, about my business and such that I would love to simply write a blog post about and then you could find the answer! My hope is that this platform will now have more of an open door for that.
So to recap.
- My social media handles are changing to CorinnaRenCreative
- This is a rebranding in a sense but it doesn’t delete the other brand
- RogueRenPNW is still my DBA
- My blog is now separate so that it makes more sense that there even is a blog.
- You can expect a wider variety of great content from this page (see above list)
- You can start to expect some tutorials and other info on what I do
I’m grateful for you guys, and for this online community. Thanks for reading.
P.S. If there are any other questions I can answer for you, don’t hesitate to reach out! Or ask me in the comments!